Wednesday, June 08, 2005

New York Dupes

I love hearing about conspiracies. Honestly, I think the only real conspiracy is the conspiracy of the human heart to try to out-God God, to sin. Satan, in my belief, is very much alive and well, but he don't need no stinking Masons to get his plans through. So, call me crazy, but I don't have much use for conspiracy theories, except for the ocassional laugh. Which Barbara Nicolosi - the director for Act One, a Christian screenwriting and Hollywood networking club - ably provided for me yesterday on her blog.

The following are excerpts from a series of interviews done by a reporter with the Times, none of which was recorded so she generously paraphrased some of it. But I believe the gist is here:

James: So, in the last six months, there have been 37 pairings in the Times of the word "Christian" with words like "scary", "frightening", "theocratic" and "intimidating". My question is, what is it about Christians that makes you so scary?

Barb: (loud, snorting and sneering laughter) Are you kidding me?

James: What?

Barb: I finally get interviewed by the New York Times, and you ask me a question like that?! (more snorting and laughing)

James: (sniffs) Are you laughing because you think it's funny that people find Christians frightening?

Barb: No. I'm laughing because you want me to tell you why you and your friends are scared of Christians -- and I think you should ask your therapist!

Anyway, the interview went on from there. Basically, James was working on a story about how the same conservative Christian think-tanks that were behind the ascendancy of the Religious Right are now trying to take over Hollywood.

Barb: Are they?

James: Aren't they?

Barb: My experience is that the Christian initiatives in Hollywood are all organic - arising out of the industry itself.

James: Yeah, but where is the funding coming from?

Barb: They are all shoe-string underfundeds! Act One's funding comes from all over. Little drops of water from many sources --....

So, during this follow-up interview, Sunday, we had the following exchange.

James: I'm having a hell of a time chasing down the money connections between the DC conservative think-tanks and Hollywood Christians.

Barb: That's because they don't exist.

James: ("I'm no fool" snort) Yeah. How about you tell me 'off the record'?

Barb: Off the record, on the record, we don't get any money from rightwing covert opps!

James: Would you take money from them if they offered?

Barb: From whom?...Heck, I'd take money from Hugh Hefner! I'm just trying to meet payroll for the summer....

Barb: Honestly, the other reason you aren't getting the scoop is people don't have anything to say about this. There is no funneling of money from political Evangelicals to cultural ones. Is it being cagey and paranoid to not having anything to say about a plot that doesn't exist?

James makes an exasperated laughing sound.

A bit later, James asked me about a meeting that Act One co-sponsored last December between our writers and some Christians from DC.

James: Isn't it true that, as a result of the meeting, a feature film project was financed with money coming from DC?

Barb: Are you smoking crack?! No! There was no money! We bought a couple dozen sandwiches -- and lost money on that, as a matter of fact!

James: So, what was the purpose of the meeting?

Barb: The folks from Washington wanted to start a dialogue on some policy issues in the hopes that they could assist folks on this side of the country with government studies about some issues of joint concern.

James: (Ha!) What issue?

Barb: Well, we talked about global AIDS. Such a terrible plague. Hollywood doesn't talk about it enough.

James: Yeah, yeah. What else?

Barb: Oh yeah. There was information about the persecution of Christiansin the Sudan. There's another one you never see on primetime.

James: (depressed sigh) Anything else?

Barb: Yes. Sex.

James: Yeah! Tell me!

Barb: We talked about the problem of pornography and STD's. All about the societal wages of the Sexual Revolution.

James: (humph...)

Ok, so that was most of what she had on it. You can't make stuff like this up, though. I hope she grants my permission to run this, by the way. If not, it's a lot easier asking forgiveness than permission, as we used to say at the Bible college I worked at.


  1. That's a quotable one!

    You're the best re-blogger in America. Seriously. I've learned so much through your blog...and I've been hooked on OTR since you mentioned them...still can't get any samples of "Adam Again".

    I sure hope nobody's sending cash from DC to Hollywood. Though I wouln't be surprised. That makes my job THAT much harder...but as I said when the Passion came out, I'll ride whatever train passes through. I don't care. Label me a nazi if you want, just watch my movie!!!


    (i just bought a used copy of "Last Temptation" on Amazon for $1.34 . I'll re-read it with you.)

  2. thanks for the high compliments, ad, but i think you're wrong. no, i know you're wrong. i just don't do it that often, nor do i have the time or patience. so, i only do it when i find it extremely interesting, which is rare enough. and i think the fact that we think, as c.e.b. would say, too much alike means that you like the posts that i like, even if you don't regularly read them. like

    now, if you had said that i am the best blogger in america, i'd be hard-pressed to disagree.

    yeah, i've noticed your silent plugs for Over the Rhine on yourspace. that's a delight, to turn someone on to what you consider great music. you won't find any Adam Again. long out of print. maybe i'll send you a mix or something. i can't upload with my technology over here (basically a typewriter with internet hookup). and then maybe we'll turn some more cats onto this music, and make them re-press Adam Again, again.

    don't wait up for me. i'll be awhile with the reading, i'm telling you.


Be kind. Rewind.