Showing posts with label Sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sports. Show all posts

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Everything Is Political, and That Includes Sports

In his column in today's Chicago Red Eye, sportswiter Matt Lind offers that sports don't matter. "They're a welcome diversion," and if the Cubs won the World Series, life wouldn't change. Cubs fans, suckers that they are, would be happy for a few days, but they'd still be as ugly and broke or rich as ever.

He's got some points there. Sports are a diversion, but that doesn't mean they don't matter. They are a grand metaphor and they symbolize much to our psyche. Jackie Robinson (who, incidentally, was attacked in Sanford, FL during spring training before he got called up to the ML majors), Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Muhammed Ali, Roberto Clemente, Michael Jordan.. these figures, larger than life, are the mythos of our poplar psyche, the heroes who "overcame the struggles of their backgrounds, of their race, class, poverty, blackness, Muslim-ness. Not that being black or being Muslim or being Puerto Rican is something to overcome - it isn't. That's how we tend to observe and report the phenomenon, so deeply ingrained into White American consciousness, that we fail to acknowledge others on their own terms so these heroes make us acknowledge them on their own terms. They become larger than life because our nationalism, our classism, our racism, our xenophobia, our tokenism are all larger than life and large than god itself - making and forming a new god, a different god than the gods of the Jewish, Christian, or Muslim traditions.

_MG_2146

So these new heroes are erected to tear down the old ones, but they become gilded gladiators on their own, through sheer force of the weight of the god we serve - the god of privilege, of order, of social constructs to measure, protect, feed, and serve the Lords of the Earth, of mammon. The new heroes become servants of exceptionalism and mammon themselves and we value our heroes not by injustices displaced or gods overthrown, but by dollars and endorsement deals. Not the sacred solidarity of harmonious teamwork, but the glorified fire spits of individualized highlight reels.

Sports is political because everything is political.

Sports is also pacifying. It calms us from the Col reality that sometimes we just can't do anything about out place in life. It gives some, especially those at the bottom rungs, a hope that with determination, practice, skill, and luck, they can rise above their status. But it also calcifies them so that they cannot see or think about the actions necessary in order to claim the kind of life they need and, dare I say deserve.

"Deserve" is a funny word, that. Multimillionaires "deserve" their wealth and all that that buys them. Their toys, the false affections, their winter homes and the ability to winter and summer. They deserve those things for doing... whatever it is they do that is so important. But if we dare not speak the fact that the underclasses may deserve such amenities as health care or housing.

Our new heroes deserve to winter. The people deserve to dream about wintering courtesy of their medians.

Sports is political because everything is political.

Ali is famous for his lines and his moves, for his out sized ego during a time when people who looked like him were to be silent and submissive and deflect to their white "superiors" and be called by their first names when not called boy or worse. He, like Jack Johnson before him, asserted himself with poise, confidence and strength because sports, like everything else, is political.

Ali and Robinson and Clemente didn't have the luxury to pretend to live or operate in an apolitical world, Matt Lind. But you do. And you expect us to applaud you for your ability to make a clear distinction between sports and politics.

Except you don't, do you?

In his column, Lind argues that former Chicago White Sox player and manager Ozzie Guillen, who plays in the world of sports, should not comment on the world of politics. It is, after all, serious business. It's the adults table, and Ozzie should know where to keep his place.

Not only did Ozzie speak up when he isn't asked about such unbecoming topics as politics, but he did so to praise Cuban leader Fidel Castro. Who is, to quote Matt, "one of the most awful people alive."

Funny, I don't remember Castro -Fidel, I mean, pre-emptively attacking the US. I don't remember him making embargoes so tight against his own people that he was starving them. Or blaming their fate on this economic system - implicitly blaming the laziness of the lazy brown people who did not leave on boats.

Sports is political because everything is political.

Was it Fidel that sent hundreds of thousands of his young and poor to kill and destroy hundreds of thousands in South-East Asia, Central Asia, and the Middle East and displace millions more over false pretenses?

Not being a fan of Fidel myself, I'm not quite sure. But I remember several prominent baseball players praising, in no uncertain terms, George W Bush during the last ten years. Yes, the man responsible for starting and escalating a war we were not prepared for, directly killing 250,000 Iraqis in the process and indirectly killing several more through destroying their infrastructure and key pieces of their very ancient culture.

Matt ends his column by hoping that Ozzie's learned his lesson and that his mistake will seven as a lesson to other sports figures who would dare to take a political position.

Yes. I've an idea.

Next time a sports figure praises the gods of economic inequality, of racial division, of White Supremacy, of War by way of their human priests, suspend them from sports for their imaginary infraction.

Yeah, imaginary. Because sports is politics.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Those Pinko-Commie Packers

I know it's heresy to suggest this, but I may have to root for the Packers in February. Partly because of pride. After all, I want to be able to hang my head high and say that my team was barely beaten by the Super Bowl champions.

But more because they're a darned good organization even though, from a financial standpoint, they're the underdogs. Unlike baseball's Yankees, they don't have nearly the funds nor nearby fans to pull off all the championships and championship appearances that they have. Five Super Bowls in fifteen years. The only other comparable team in major league football is the Patriots. But they have all of New England rooting for them (much like the Red Sox, who also have immense funds from which to draw). Greater Boston alone has four and a half million people. All of Wisconsin has roughly five and a half million, with Green Bay's Brown County clocking in at a quarter million.

Green Bay, however, owns their football team. Although their players and staff make a decent amount of money, it's (to the shock, I'm sure, of most fans ) a socialist* enterprise.
This is the same Packers that sport the lowest median salary in the NFL at $440,520. The ousted Seattle Seahawks are at $959,200, the departed Dallas Cowboys are at $699,000, and those nasty Giants are at $724,000.

Somehow despite the small market, somehow without paying the highest salaries, somehow the Green Bay Packers will sit atop the National Football Conference Sunday night on their way to the biggest market share of the year, an appearance in the Super Bowl.

Based in a city of 100,000, the Packers are owned by 112,000 shareholders and the stock is worthless.

Packer stock has never paid a dividend, it cannot appreciate in value, and anyone who buys a share does it for sentiment, not their retirement.

It is a non-profit company.

The Green Bay Packers have won more Championships than any other NFL team and their total championships equals that of about half the league.
Packers vs. Raiders 2007photo © 2007 Chad Davis | more info (via: Wylio)
Take a good look, Timmy. They's un-Americans....

And from David Sweet:
Though the majority of sports franchises in the United States are owned by a group of private investors, with one serving as the public face, control of the Green Bay Packers is divvied into about 4.7 million shares with no chance of anyone taking over. No person can buy more than 200,000 shares. Four stock sales have priced shares from $5 in 1923 to $200 in 1997 — the last one helped increase the capacity of Lambeau Field by 10,000 seats.

Despite their popularity, the Packers’ stock would never be touted by brokers. In 85 years, a dividend has never been paid and the stock does not appreciate in value. Shares can only be sold back to the team, and then at a fraction of the original purchase price. Who would ever assign a buy rating with that kind of historical return?

Yet shareholders would not trade their illiquid investment for anything. Who can beat the annual meeting? In 2006 and 2007, owners could gather in the summer at Lambeau Field (general admission seating) to hear about the state of the non-profit company. Concession stands were open, private boxes were toured and — even though the meeting started at 10 a.m. — Curly’s Pub didn’t close until 12 hours later. Even Warren Buffett can’t offer such amenities.
That's some smart socialism there, buoyed by some more socialistic endeavors within the NFL. Can't argue with success, though...

* Post-Note:
Obviously, a word like 'socialism' has a mighty history behind it. Many people confuse the general term with certain specifics under which it applies. When I use the term here, I'm referring to its most basic form. As Wikipedia puts it:
Socialism is an economic and political theory advocating public or common ownership and cooperative management of the means of production and allocation of resources.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Dishing on the Cheeseheads

Note: Some of these Chicago Bears v Green Bay Packers jokes have been around longer than the NFL. Some are more-or-less standard redneck jokes. Normally I would be averse to publishing such jokes... But this is Green Bay we're talking about here. And we the Bears haven't played with them in the post-season since we before Daley the First was mayor.
Other jokes were introduced or made up by myself or Facebook friends. If you want credit, claim it.


Q: What do you call a good looking lady in Green Bay?
A: Tourist

Q: What is the difference between a Packer fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: Did you hear about the fire at the Packers’ library facilities?
A: Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet.

Q: How do you save a drowning Packer fan?
A: Take your foot off his head.

Q: What does a hunter without a gun in the middle of a forest and Green Bay have in common?
A: Neither of them can stop the Bears

I love cheese and you ?photo © 2010 Cornelia Kopp | more info (via: Wylio)


A Bears fan, a Packers fan, and a Vikings fan get shipwrecked on an island and some natives take them to their king. At first, the king plans to execute them, then, he decides to grant them one wish, twenty lashes on the back, and let them go.
The Vikings fan wishes for a pillow strapped to his back. It doesn’t hold well during the whipping and broke after 5 whips, leaving 15 painful marks on his back.
The Packers fan wishes for 2 pillows. It lasts for ten whips and he ended up screaming in pain. When it was the Bears fan’s turn though, a smile came across his face.
“I wish for 300 whips,” the king thought the Bears fan was being very brave and noble, so he gave him another wish. “I wish the Packers fan was strapped to my back!”

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cheeseheads too. No one really knowing what a Cheesehead was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kimberly who has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not a Cheesehead.” “Then”, asks the teacher, “what are you?” “Why, I’m a proud Bears Fan,” boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slight...ly red. She asks Kimberly why she is a rebel. “Well, my mom and dad are Bears Fans, so I’m a Bears Fan too.” The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?” A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Kimberly, “I’d be a Cheesehead”

A Bears fan, a Packers fan and a Seahawks fan Are Climbing A Mountain And Arguing About Who Loves His Team More. The Seahawks Fan Insists That He Is The Most Loyal. "This Is For The Seahawks!" He Yells, And Jumps Off The Side Of The Mountain. Not To Be Outdone, the Bears fan Is Next To Profess His Love For His Team. He Yells, "This Is For The Bears!" And Pushes The Packer Fan Off The Mountain.
It's Like Making A Trip To Mecca If You're A Bears Fanphoto © 2007 Codo | more info (via: Wylio)

Q. Superman, an intelligent Packers fan, and Santa Claus are walking down the street and see a twenty dollar bill on the street. Who picks it up?
A. No one does. None of those persons exist.

Q: What do you call a pig walking around in downtown Green Bay?
A: Junior. Or Bubba. Or whatever names they use up there...

Q: What's the difference between a Packer's fan and year old cheese?
A: Not much.

Q: What do you call a good looking woman with a Packer fan?
A: A hostage

Cutler in the huddle: Forte. You have blood on you. Are you injured?
Forte: No. Packers keep bleeding on me.
Cutler: Alright! Who cut the cheesehead?

Q. Why doesn't the city of Green Bay just slide off into Lake Michigan?
A. The Packers suck.

Q. What do you call 32 female Packers fans in the same room?
A. A full set of teeth.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Weekend Links We Like to Link to - the non-political edition

The Packers tell fans that Favre went away to live in a farm. (from The Onion)

"Don't be sad," Packer head coach Mike McCarthy told fans, many of whom began crying audibly, shaking their heads, or turning away at the news. "You should be happy for Brett. He is in a much better place now. He has many of your other favorite Packers, really great Packers like Reggie White and Ray Nitschke and Max McGee, to keep him company. And he even has a coach—Vince Lombardi is on that farm, too."

Although Packers officials gave no specific details of the farm, its location, or the family who will now take care of Favre, Thompson confirmed that it is "far, far away, beyond the football fields we know, in a very happy place where Brett will never be cold or get sacked ever again."

"There are no winters there, and no injuries, and no interceptions, and even though people will play football with Brett all day, they all have so much fun that no one remembers who won or who lost," McCarthy added.

The penny-farthing for extremists:


According to Brad [the creator], the 12-foot SkyWalker is so strong that it can
easily take a 500-pound pilot, a little trivia fact that makes me imagine a
Fantasia hippo driving one.
h/t to Mark o

On teens and the amount of time watching tv and internet (i.e., screen time):

"Girls that lived in more disadvantaged neighborhoods were four times more likely to be in these high viewing groups. And boys in disadvantaged neighborhoods were two to three times more likely to be in this high-risk group," said Barnett.

h/t to YPulse

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Eli Manning in the Super Bowl?

I may pass this year.

Stupid Green Bay defense making stupid mistakes!

Monday, November 26, 2007

War is Hell. Football is Forever*

One of the best places to get sports news is The Onion. It's one of the fresher spots in that periodical nowadays, and actually takes the issue of sports seriously, while still skewering modern American culture and being genuinely funny. Case in point:

U.S. Military Wasting All Its Victories On Notre Dame

"It's important to realize that our young men have been fighting pitched battles against religious fanatics who have been brainwashed into a culture that seeks to destroy all other ways of life," Air Force head coach Troy Calhoun said Monday. "That's just the way Notre Dame football is, the way it's always been. You can't reason with people like that. You destroy them as completely, remorselessly, and quickly as you can."


In other football-related news, the Bears came from behind yesterday to beat the Broncos in overtime. So, with a win over the Giants next weekend, we're still [hardly] in the playoff picture.

And, finally, in my fantasy football leagues (where I merely pretend to do something football-related), I will not, repeat, will not cease to suck. Adrian Peterson, I could've used another miracle.

*Patton. I swear.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Holy Alfonso Cow!

Against our wildest dreams, the Chi-town Northsiders (who are rumored to pick up A-Rod next year for something like a minority stake in the business {Don't do it, Alex. It's a trap. Watch what happens to the poor guys working the Tribune Tower in about four years.}) clinched the National League Central.

Now, the ol' NL C just ain't she used to be, but post-season is post-season, sister.

A-one, A-two, A-three...
No, that's not a pic of a North Korean despot.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Dear Faculty of Davidson H.S. in Ohio:

One of your students executed an elaborate and rather divisive prank against long-standing and cross-town rival Darby High. I think the whole world should see this offensive behavior and let you be put to shame for the pithy actions you've done in regards to this embarrassing joke.



I say it is a true, undermining shame that you have merely and temporarily suspended young Mr. Garchar for this scheme. I must ask you, Principal Bandow, in all sincerity: Have you no sense of humor? Where is your funny-bone?

You should be having ticker-tape parades for the young man. He should be raised on a chair held aloft by the and cheered on by the entire student population, past and present. He should be immortalized in bronze in front of the school and in several city parks. Cheerleaders and brainiacs alike should be fighting over who will carry his books to class. Teachers should treat his name with the reverence reserved for the likes of Dr. Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln or Copernicus or Albert Einstein.

He single-handedly (supposedly) did for your school what the football team didn't. Make it feel good.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Enjoy the bandwagon while it lasts...

I'm sorry to disappoint, but the Cubbies are trying to re-stake their claim to actually having a snowball's chance in Chicago's August. I'm not sure I'm willing to jump on board this time. I'm a - get ready for it - fair-weather Cub's fan. Yeah. There. I said it. I don't regret it.

Too many years of sorrow and managerial neglect. Not enough up's to go with the down's. And when they do blow an up, they find a poor ol' Billy Scape Goat. Or a Bartman.

And if you think that the management's little diplomacy trick this off-season of signing huge contracts would sate me: nope. Or the fact that they will be sold this next off-season. Again. Nope.

But since nothing else is happening now (no, Bears preseason doesn't count)...

Go Cubbies!

Oops, wrong team. O well, at least he was focused.
Wait, what do you mean he's not on the team anymore?

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Saturday, March 10, 2007

So, it's March and all...

Where's the Madness?

I know it's out there. I just haven't been paying attention.

I know that Duke's likely not to get a berth this year.

That's fairly insane...

But is that it? Is there anything really loco / chemically imbalanced / lunatic going on out there? Is there a chance that some off-the-wall school (not an Xavier. Say a Chicago State or a Bible school with under 1,000 students) gets into the Final Four? Is there an outside chance that a school that doesn't have money for full athletic scholarships will get seed money for these athlete-scholars?

Is there a chance that a school will get recognized not for ridiculing relatively-obscure cultures (meaning, anyone not of their own - read, pasty-White - culture - i.e., urban and Tribal-American), but for lifting every one of its athletes to a 3.0 GPA and a four-year goal plan for graduation?

Yeah, yeah, save the self-righteous rants for Sports Illustrated (which will still rank in millions while it defies the NCAA - while the rest of us bemoan the current system in our living rooms while succumbing to the Dick Vitale-inspired Fever on our large-screens). But, y'know, a man's gotta gripe about something.

And the lack of feasible drinking water for 1.1 billion people just doesn't seem within grasp for my little mind right now.

Hmmmm....

Monday, January 22, 2007

I've got one of those nasty colds. I'm always such a wuss when it comes to this stuff. (My wife's pregnant and without sleep, carrying a splitting headache - but she endures) I stayed home today to take care of grading and all the rest, but I can barely get my head around this nasty business.

But, what can I say? My - and my town's - prayers have been answered. The Bears are going to the Super Bowl! They are WHO WE THOUGHT THEY ARE! And I'm already sick of the people at espn.com for wanting nothing to do with the Bears crushing victory, everything to do with washed-up Parcells quiting Dallas (b/c, apparently, Dallas has given up on him), and mourning the Saints' loss.

Dude! This is Chicago! We're going to the Superbowl! And only twenty-one years after our last visit! With a minority coach! Against another minority coach! History, babies!

And, once again, a proud papa city gets to watch its team embarrass the national media and its Bear-skeptical prognasticators!

Bear Down!

Now, back to grading.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Our heavenly Papa Bear,


Who art in Halas Hall (and everywhere else),
Super Bowl champions be our name.
Superdome be come;
May your will be done
in Miami as it is in Chicago.
Give us Sunday our Devin Hester return touchdown;
And forgive us our Rex
As we forgive our Bretts;
And lead us not into temptation
As we trash the Saints -
For yours is the riots, champagne and bragging rights
for the next twenty years!

Amen