Tuesday, July 18, 2006

And may their first child be a masculine child.

My jaw's so big, I feel like Popeye. I'm talking a bit like him, too.

Just looking in the mirror, I look like Marlon Brando as The Godfather.

I have big, deep, gaping holes in the back of my mouth.

The gauze pads that I kept placing back there were turning a nasty dark red.

I haven't had anything to chew in a day and a half. I've only had half a cup of ice coffee and a little bottle of Starburst Smoothie. It tastes like you'd expect a Starbust Smoothie to taste like. Dang the options at Walgreens.

I'm not hungry, though. Haven't been. And I'm... how should I say this?... a good eater.

I just gurgled some warm salt water. Not as weird as I had expected.

I walked home from the dentist office yesterday alone. They put me under while they removed my wisdom teeth. I was understandably confused when they woke me up and dizzy for a while after. I walked to the pharmacy across the street, but they don't take credit cards. I walked to the bus stop, one came quickly enough. Which was good. I hobbled like a drunkard. But the bus, with its constant starting and stopping, made me nauseus. It's a good thing I only live a third of a mile from the dentist.

If they're called wisdom teeth, shouldn't we keep them in our old age? Wisdom teeth are wasted on the young.

I'm gonna eat a big juicy cheeseburger tonight, or I'll be upset.

6 comments:

  1. I had my wisdom teeth removed at the same time that I had jaw surgery, so I never had the traditional horror story. But I think that I'd prefer that to having my jaw wired shut.

    Liquified White Castles ain't all that great.

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  2. micah,

    thanks for blowing up my spot, man.

    "But I think that I'd prefer that to having my jaw wired shut."

    i don't know, kanye made it seem cool.

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  3. make sure you get in all the best godfather lines now why you still have the chance.

    --RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

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  4. why do you wanna disrespect me? if you had come to me earlier, your enemies would be my enemies.

    yes, of course, rc. much to my friends' chagrin. unfortunately, i only watched the movie once. i had to look up lines on imdb. that's quite handy.

    peace.

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  5. Maaaan suck it up! I had my four wisdom teefers out all at once too. Only took me 3 days to recover. I was even speaking full sentences right after the supposed in-chair surgery. That nitro gas is the GREATEST though isnt it? I was happy that whole night. Like, REALLY. lol. I didn't fall asleep though, just got extremely light headed.

    Don't eat meat! It'll be the worst, trust me.

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  6. yeah, it's just a weird sensation. definitely the end-of-the-world i was informed it is. it's like two black holes in the gums in the back of my mouth, instead of just the one big one that i DON'T stick my tongue into.

    the cleaning and refillings come next month. and then a recapping of my two front teeth.

    busy couple months for my mouth. y'know, with the kissin's and all.

    don't eat meat!? NOW you tell me. i keep trying to figure if that's chicken meat back there or my own mouth meat.

    tmi, i know.

    i didn't get the high and happy gas

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Be kind. Rewind.