Showing posts with label Idiocracy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Idiocracy. Show all posts

Thursday, July 14, 2011

The New Bullies: Grandma Peace Activists, Christian Feminist Bloggers, and Consumer Advocates

wookie warriorphoto © 2007 Simon | more info (via: Wylio)Did somebody say Wookie?

There's a cynical and ironic phenomenon that I've noticed most glaringly in US foreign relationships in the Middle East and is now manifesting itself in the financial / political world as well as the Evangelical social media world in the States: Bullies like to call anybody who holds them accountable a bully.

Israel does this any time her stranglehold on Palestinians is challenged. Likewise, WORLD Magazine (a Neo-Conservative Christian bulwark) called Rachel Held Evans a slanderer for calling out mega-pastor Mark Driscoll's irresponsible, homophobic, and trans-phobic behavior (with a bit more civility than I would probably afford him). And now House Oversight Committee Chairman Darrell Issa, (R-CA) and spokesmouth for corporatocracy, is calling Elizabeth Warren, consumer advocate, a bully who would target the poor, little, downtrodden banks and loaning institutions and give them swirlies and wedgies and all that mean stuff.

Small pockets of men and women (and most recently, grandmas) try to get into Gaza, armed only with senselessly banned material - including harmless school supplies. At one point, they are gunned down at point-blank range by Israeli soldiers. At another point, Greece enforces Israel's rules for them, in the hope of international aid favor from the US. Illegal settlements are being sprouted up on top of Palestinian homes, bulldozing and setting ablaze homelands, groves, and families that have resided there for hundreds and thousands of years. The Palestinians are denied pencils, buildings, and jobs in their own homeland.

And yet, it's the international, hippy grandmas that are the bullies...

Author and blogger Rachel Held Evans demonstrated occasion after occasion of Mark Driscoll's dehumanizing taunts towards women, feminists, "effeminate" males, and queersteh gays. And then she asked her readers to address their concerns to the board of elders at his church. While Driscoll (of a large church in Seattle named Mars Hill) offered some sort of apology, WORLD Magazine writer Anthony Bradley belittled the criticisms and offered his amusing perspective that, "There is nothing loving about calling a pastor a “bully.“"* The rest of the paragraph sends a message that this male writer can only interpret as, "Woman no talk to manly man such way." (Considering that - without any evidence - Bradley calls her a liar who spreads false testimony, I'm left to believe that the problem isn't the testimony itself, but the testifier. After all, in biblical times, woman no important.)

So, it isn't the influential, authoritarian pastor who, once again, ridicules so-called effeminate men who needs to be corrected. It is the woman who dared stand up to him...

Issa is a bit of an extreme example in an extreme time of extreme extremities. It's common (though often ignored by pro-corporatists) knowledge that the recession is a direct result of predatory lending, borrowing and all means of deceit by big banks and other financial institutions - much at the hands of the poor and middle class. Warren, who has a proven track record of looking out for that important buffer - the middle class - as well as for those on the margins, is trying to protect the rest of us from the horrible practices that make a few very wealthy, very fast, on the backs of the rest of us who are left with fewer and fewer options. But she, not the banks that foreclosed on millions of hard-working Americans, is the bully? Because she would rather that these institutions not eat the poor and devour the middle class?? Really?

I suppose Orwell is shaking in his grave. It got awfully chilly.

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*Obviously, nobody has informed Bradley of the practices of spiritual abuse rampant in fundamentalist churches, specifically. I'm sure that if he were dealing with questions of his own sexuality in such a church, his perspective would change.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Send Lawyers, Guns, and Oil


Before I continue, I should warn you that if you want a blanket endorsement of the Democratic Party, or President Obama, you've come to the wrong place. The Democratic Party is basically Corporatocracy Lite, with some love for their union organizers. The Republican Party is run by Corporatocracy On Steroids, and has as their base the Christendom Party and the Fiscally-Concerned Party, which, ironically, is only concerned about the fiscality of the corporations.

But I couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of some of the points on this chain email. I know Democrats - and us progressives - do a lot of the same awful gymnastics in our praise of some and ignorant biting of others. I see it all the time. But, mygoodness, looking up to former President George W Bush as a businessman? And one who created wealth?

omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11ty!!!!!

Somebody, please put me out of my misery!

The Lawyers' Party
By Bruce Walker

The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers Party .
Barack Obama is a lawyer.
Michelle Obama is a lawyer.
Hillary Clinton is a lawyer.. Bill Clinton is a lawyer.
John Edwards is a lawyer.
Elizabeth Edwards was a lawyer.
Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate).
Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen,
went to law school.

Look at leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress:
Harry Reid is a lawyer.
Nancy Pelosi is a lawyer.
[Oh, the humanity! Imagine. People passing and backing up laws who are trained to know how to do that! That's just silly]

The Republican Party is different.[But of course. I can't believe it's not butter.]
President Bush is a businessman. [Are you SURE this isn't butter?? Have you seen his failed businesses? Seriously? All of them failed because he was too lasseiz faire. Except for when they succeeded. From governmental and public investments. Much like some oil company did in Iraq... Each of them rescued because he was his daddy's son.]
Vice President Cheney is a businessman. [To the detriment of Iraq, and the US. And the US's armed forces. But thanks for reminding us what we get when our country is up for sale to the highest bidders.]

The leaders of the Republican Revolution:
Newt Gingrich was a history professor. [Who is doomed to repeat it. But wait, I thought you guys hated them intellectual elites? Or just the ones who know wtf they're talking about?]
Tom Delay was an exterminator. [Makes sense, somehow...]
Dick Armey was an economist. [Who makes a KILLING by spreading lies as a for-sale lobbyist and executive liar. Thanks for that pathetic noise chamber on the health care reform. Bought to you buy the Real Death Panels, the Medical Insurance Companies]
House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer. [Also makes a lot of sense...]
The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon. [Yet, ironically...]

Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer?
Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican
nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976. ["An ACTOR!" *In my finest Orson Welles.]

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, [And here I thought it was made of plastic people doing oily work] who are often the targets of lawyers. [We sure are. Especially when they're sicced on us by Wal-Mart, Haliburton, Exxelon, BP, Mansanto... But sometimes, they're also the ones defending us. In this case, these lawyers seem kind of confused by their roles.]

The Democrat Party is made up of lawyers. Democrats mock and scorn men [You're thinking of feminists... And maybe bad dates.]who create wealth[No, they LURVE those guys. They're playing for the same team, fellers], like Bush and Cheney [Create wealth, sure. But for who? Oh, don't answer that, it was rhetorical. No, never mind, I'll give you a clue: Haliburton.], or who heal the sick, like Frist [or who deny the ability for the sick to be healed], or who immerse themselves in history [by taking luxurious three week vacations to Europe right after announcing his presidency and want to throw us to the steaming piles of repeated history such as the Civil War or race riots], like Gingrich.

The Lawyers Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services
that people want ["that people wantare brainwashed to buy." There, fixxt!], as the enemies of America [Wishing upon a friggin' time-lapsed falling star!]. And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers Party, grow. [Bi-Wishing]

Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? [Amtrak?] Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation. [What? ? McDonald's? Burger King? Bank of America? Wal-Mart? I effing WISH they would rail and flail and maybe even wail on these people! (I'm not sure sure, however, on whether or not they should tail or mail. Those sound iffy, at best.) All these companies do is produce tragic garbage that we've been brainwashed to consume (sometimes the hospitals, too. Blame the spirit of consumerism and capitalistic "enterprise" for that, the reason our health care is the costliest in the world). Yet, Clinton and Obama actually kowtow to them. Despite the cost to our planet, to our oceans, to our workers, to the workers (slaves) in third world countries. Yes, please. Stick up for them. Stick up for the enemies of the people and the planet.]

This is the natural consequence of viewing everything through the eyes of lawyers. Lawyers solve problems by successfully representing their clients, in this case the American people [Yes, that would be HORRIBLE if they were to do that! Just abysmally horrible IF THEY ACTUALLY represented the American people!]. Lawyers seek to have new laws passed [If the old ones are bad, is this such a problem? Of course, this just goes to show you that not everybody trusts laws. Some people think we'd be better off with laws from the 1950's if not before then. After all, isn't everything just the same? If it isn't, don't you think it should be?], they seek to win lawsuits, they press appellate courts to overturn precedent [Yes, Barack Obama sure is overturning precedent, just like he promised. No more wars in the Middle East. Shut down rendition and restored habeus corpus, not to mention Gitmo. Oh, and that blasted Patriot Act was taken away from us too. Dang it. He's such a Overturner-in-Cheif!], and lawyers always parse language to favor their side [Not unlike politicians].

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I won't waste your time with the rest of it. How does representing the interests of the people you're supposed to represent become a bad thing? Seriously! I only tri-wish they were doing so.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Mike Huckabee presents ReagaWorship (In Stilted, Colorless CGI!)!

What happens when you mix worthless "historians" with America-first jingoism, abysmal nationalism, horrible writing, and crap-awful animation?

Mike Huckabee presents Learn Our History dot Com! Watch out for the pop-up talking Mike Huckabee, by the way.


You can view the whole video by purchasing it from LOH (hmmm... is this a secret giveaway?) for the low price of $10. In fact, if they sell two copies, they will run a profit!

More at Talking Points Memo, for those who dare...

NOTE:
Alisa made me consider putting in the hilarious (and awfully ironic, coming from the Religious Right theocrats and war-mongers) WWII sneak-peek as well.


Notice how swiftly they move those bikes on the beach to avoid becoming collateral damage!
Notice how passionate the newsie is as he talks about enlistment!
Notice that Hitler is talking about his mission being from God (and how they have to get rid of an inferior race)!
"Even the gals were in on it!"
You go, girl!
All this - AND MORE - can be yours for the low, low price of around fifteen dollars.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Wuss by Any Other Name... (part 1)

It's time these losers were outted. Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat:

Tim Profitt -- Rand Paul campaign's Bourbon County coordinator*, whose friends tackled a woman protester outside a televised political debate that featured Paul while Profitt stomped on her shoulders and head -- you are not a man. You are a sissy. You can’t stand the idea that your ideas could be attacked, so you committed the ultimate ad hominem – lashing out in a heinous act of barbaric and gang-rape-ish violence. Big, bad Tim Proffit, you’re a little scared sissy that needs to be spanked and shown for the little punk you are – afraid to pick on someone your own size.

Additionally, for premeditating your assault and then for blaming your victim, Tim Profitt, you’re a wipe. Do you make your wife and children apologize to you after you hit them? A waste of a human being, a smelly maggot who will never grow up to become a full-fledged fly on the windshield of humanity.

Mike Pezzano, Tim Profitt’s friend, the one with the “Don’t Tread on Me” t-shirt who groped the protester while trying to hold her in position for a heel-to-the-head, you are a sissy too. It’s amazing that someone who complains about an imaginary and metaphorical trampling (from the State-power structure to himself) can’t see the irony in actually tackling someone to the ground so that she can be literally tread on. But what to expect from a laughable despicable sissy?

Of course we can’t stop there, though. After all, these two simian sissies are merely pawns – foot soldiers, if you will.

Rand Paul – you who continuously draws in such hate-filled sissies, including a full-on, out-of-the-box KKK Dragon and American Nazi supporter, yet can never truly distance yourself from them – you are a sissy as well. But not just because of the people who align themselves with you, nor even for your refusal to completely disassociate yourself from them as if you can’t survive without their thuggish Neanderthal knuckles keeping you grounded to your hateful scorched earth. Nor even because of your half-hearted apologies and false equivalencies.

No, Rand Paul, you are a sissy because of your stated policies (that as a senatorial candidate, you are within arms-reach of actually doing something about from a lofty position of power) against people who are – at least individually – weaker than you and your buddies.

Dr. Rand Paul – the Sissy, MD – you have stated that you think that the Civil Rights Act, which aims to protect minorities, was unnecessary. Oooh, mighty brave of you, white man.

Dr. Rand Paul – Pansy – you attack government assistance to citizens who can barely survive, as is, while shamelessly profiting from that same system through Medicare payments to your practice. But at least you're consistent on your desire to continue to live "comfortably." Because, of course, you're a sissy.

Dr. Rand Paul – you who took your nickname from Ayn Rand, the “writer” / “philosopher” who believes that anyone who isn’t a commerce engineer is a parasite on humanity – also made boldly false claims against the Americans with Disabilities Act and disapproved of the Act as he *sides* with business owners. Should the law’s name be changed to the Parasites with Disabilities Inaction?

For allowing your base to continue to attack and threaten people who hold different viewpoints, such as the self-described Lincoln Republican Tea Party lady who outted Pezzano, you are a sissy, Paulie. Laura Grass describes the fear that your people have put on her and those like her:
Rand Paul isn't going to do anything to me… but his supporters might. I'm afraid of them. Over at Liberty Forest, during the primary, there were calls for volunteers to "crush" me. They still despise me. They smear me around the internet.

Is this the kind of legacy you want to leave for yourself? The Thug Who Would Be Senator?
Or, more accurately, The Sissy Who Wants to Be Respected.


*Note: I had incorrectly labeled Mr. Profitt as a campaign adviser, instead of the non-ranked, volunteer position of campaign coordinator. Thanks, David M, for that.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Chicago Tuesdays: Step by Step for Better Governance

Things may not be so bleak for Democrats this November, says Robert Creamer in HuffPo. Here's to hoping that he's right and that I won't be crucified for not voting straight party-line Democrat in two weeks. See, I just can't.
This is my line of reasoning and advice:
  • The Tea Party and Corporatist Munchers Can. Not. Win.
  • However, everyone needs to research all viable candidates.
  • When one does this, one may find that some candidates that are not specifically Tea Party and/or Republican are, in fact, Incompetent Corporatist Munchers.
  • These people also should not be given the keys.
  • One such person in the ICM Party is Alexi Gianoullias.
  • As mentioned here previously, Alexi is a failed bank executive who's risky ventures with his family's Uptown Bank were as reckless as any of the big losers on Wall St. He also somehow lost millions of dollars during his tenure as State Treasurer for an education program that, in hindsight, I'm glad my family never got to be a part of.
  • Of course, his opponent, Mark Kirk of the GoodOl'Boys Party - among being a serial liar, etc., etc., - displayed his dirty white boy politics a couple weeks ago by bragging about putting mostly White overseers (basically, the Intimidation Crew) in predominately Black neighborhoods, watching out for any nasty "jiggering" that may go on there... Of course those "lawyers and people" will undoubtedly look just like the people in the communities they go into and will not, under any circumstance, try to intimidate residents from voting...
  • Aww, who'm I kidding?
  • Sometimes, such monumental political FAILS, there is no choice but to unplug.
  • But, if we unplug, if we refuse to vote - to be engaged - the entrenched powers win. It's as simple as that. The fewer voters in general, the easier it is for them to amass the minimum votes necessary to stay in office.
  • Until it's too late.
  • What we need is a massive sea change. These kind of things take time. Lots of time.
  • The next two years may be a wash, however, for progressives. Our fate, we seem to be saying. We weren't able to convince the Supermajority Democrats to promote a truly progressive agenda, especially in the most important area of job creation and economic stability and accountability. Some things were accomplished (health care; some job creation), but others weren't (health care; comprehensive immigration reform; job creation). And now most forecasters are trending that Dems will likely lose the majority in the House and certainly be on the run in the Senate. Either way, there will actually be MORE morons running around in DC thanks in part to a strange synergy between the Toilet Paper Nimrods and the Dick Army Corporatists. Obviously, allowing Republicans may not be the best option, but then we have to start thinking long-range and if the options are so similar that it feels like you've taken a dumpy-whirl, well... Are we flushed? Hanging in the boys' bathroom, waiting for the final bell to ring or our mommies to bring clean clothes - desperately trying to dry our hair out before anyone notices the sure marks of the dreaded swirlie.
  • So, what's the option for those of us stuck with Evil and Stupid I v Evil and Stupid II? Pick someone else! For Chrissake's: Pick Someone Else!
  • My suggestion: Go Green, baby. They're the party concerned about sustainability, not just ecologically (which is important), but in terms of health care, education, economics, business and governing. So this year, they get 5, 10, 15%, maybe (hopefully! likely!) pick up a seat or two somewhere, next time they come back to fight, there'll be a referendum on the GODumbnuts and Democrats will fight to fight for us - just a little more. Next time, 15, 20, 25%, and so on... Equity builds. We all win.

Saturday, October 02, 2010

What'cha Get Is What Ya Did wit Whatcha Had

Lincoln's Illinois. I'm sure he'd recognize the political landscape if he saw it now. Full of dimwits, half-wits and mass corruption - in both the party that he helped to establish and in that other party. I also have a feeling that he'd agree with me in not voting for any Republican, but in voting only for the Democrats who actually mean something.

Or maybe, standing just over my shoulder and looking into my skull, he'd just try to eat my brains. He is a two hundred-plus year old hugnry zombie and all...

Regardless, if one more Democrat tells me I have to vote for Alexi - the scion of banking scandal and irresponsibility himself - or else the Tea Bells Will Toll, I will sic a very hungry and feisty dog on him. Mr. Giannoulias and his RINO rival, the somewhat-moderate but bad liar Mark Kirk, represent most of what is wrong with politics in this state. And I see no change coming soon if we continue to do what we've been doing.

To choose between the lesser of two evils here would be to not cast a vote. However, I will choose the greater, to vote - for neither nincompoop. I am voting (and am asking you to vote for) LeAlan Jones (G).

Regardless of whether or not you agree with him, I ask that my fellow 'Noisians will vote for a third party rather than stay home November 2 (I'll stretch that out for everybody, period, in the States). And here's why:

Disaffection kills. We need to convince the powers that we are not happy. That we are not satisfied. That we will not sit down and be steamrolled by the politics of the few and monied. This is not a rich man's game. This is not a game at all; lives are at stake here.

The message if we are to stay home is that we do not care; they can do with us as they please because we will not interrupt their game. The message we send if we continue to vote as we have been voting is, "I know he loves me. He said so himself. He won't do it again. I can change him."

If we allow these two parties to continue to play the same game - specifically in this state - we'll get what we asked for. But I ain't asked for this. So please, at least for my sake, make your voice and dissent heard.

Update: In case you forget, my frustration with the Democratic Party in Illinois is largely local, and largely tied to the state of Illinois. Fortunately, most statewide Republicans are moderates, so there isn't the ultra Tea Party loon or War Hawk goon threat (as far as I know) even if, say, the GOP takes over Obama's old seat. But if you've been living under a rock and don't understand the deep-seated arrogance and corruption that has defined inter- and intra-state politics in this state, you can read up on some govs here.
*This post is partially a response to my friend Peter's post at Spirit of a Progressive.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Follow the Blood Trail

The internet rag American Stinker (1) is at it again. Normally, if I'm writing about the kooks on the far right zombie hand of the dial, I write a brief, dismissive and/or furiously satirical piece at the other site, if for nothing else than to blow off steam. But this piece was frustrating for different reasons. And for those reasons, I thought it best to write an actual, serious bl0ggue about it.

Mister Perfesser Robert Huff* follows his hero, the self-serving malignant David Horowitz (a troll that has been touting his past-life as a 'radical liberal activist' since the day when every single person on the Left exhausted their patience with his conniving, back-stabbing ways and Horowitz found he could make more money by 'exposing them' - pretty nifty trick) in making connections that aren't really there in an attempt to smear the images of innocent people for political purposes. Huff puffs about Shane Claiborne, darling of the Evangelical center, actually. But he also aligns him with other characters, chief among them Dr. John Perkins (elder statesman of reconciliation and the Beloved Community, a hero to non-racist Evangelicals for being our sole historical bodily connection to the Civil Rights movement, the visionary responsible for the Christian Community Development Association's ethos and doctrine). But he never mentions anything at all positive about the actions of Perkins - never clues in his obviously clueless audience as to the identity of Claiborne's co-author. Huff only makes this dubious association with a man he dubiously associates with dubious associators of dubious associations with dubious people and/or purposes. The soul-sucking vacuum is obvious - and intentional. And, for what I can only assume are ivory-political purposes, he throws in a dig at the naivety of his school for forcing its freshmen to absorb the the librul Christian Left propaganda.**

When I got my bachelors, the only credit math classes I signed up for were Linear Equations and Logic. Huff must not be so advanced in these fields that he's pushing forward a new type of logic. Or, he's just another separatist fundamentalist that got a job at an Evangelical school.

My money's on the second. According to Huff, Dr. Perkins and the entire Christian Left*** are guilty by association with Claiborne. Claiborne is guilty for having gone to Iraq with Iraq Peace Team^ for a few weeks during this occupational war. The Iraq Peace Team is guilty for being a joint venture of Voices in the Wilderness and Christian Peacemaker Teams. Christian Peacemaker Teams is guilty for talking with and working with Palestinians. Teh nerff! Spazz!! And those ingrates at VitW hate America so much that they went to Iraq, got kidnapped and then had the gall to blame the American and British governments for creating the desperation in the country that led to their imprisonment.

Of course, this is some weird thinking, but it's not new. Peacemakers are always accused of creating violence, by the very fact that they expose the violence of the oppressive system. Israel, Britain and the US can do tremendous violence against Iraqis, Palestinians. They can completely destroy their homes, take over their countries, displace them, remove their access to jobs, clean water, and the land they've owned for generations and generations. They can introduce civil strife, tie their hands, force them into desperate and violent retaliatory measurements. This is not new for empire-building, nor for the United States (take how we treated our indigenous populations, for instance). But the second someone questions these actions, the moment she takes an action to openly demonstrate the evil that is being brushed under the carpet, she is labeled a traitor and a violent, dangerous radical.

However, the real victims of the American Thinker's article isn't the Christian left, the Iraq Peace Teams, or even everybody's favorite evangelical monastic, Shane Claiborne. Neither is it the much-revered Saint (and the only living connection between the largely white Evangelical church and the Civil Rights movement it sat out) Dr. John Perkins or his school's curriculum. The real nasties, according to The Perfesser, are the Palestinian and Iraqi people who dare question American dominance and imperialism.

Not only are they guilty of being ingrates (and dark-skinned), but anyone who associates with someone who associates with someone who associates with them are, of course, tainted...

(1) Credit for photoshop and altered name belong to the fine folks at Sadly, No. Should have made this clear yesterday.

*Google crashed when I tried to search his name. Just sayin'...

**Yes, I'm reading between the lines. I make no excuses for doing so. If he's going in with such a naked agenda, I'd like to call him out on it. Or he can explain how I'm wrong. In which case, he'll have to repudiatedly refutions on his whole piece.

***A rather new name - complete with a Facebook page - that may be bigger and more diverse than can be possibly contained within Huff's use of the term, or anyone else's. But, in basic, it seems to be a somewhat reactionary movement against the political conservatism that has largely taken over at least the Evangelical super-movement. It parallels, in some ways, the post-Conservatives and Hipster Christian generational shifts.

^ From the Voices in the Wilderness page:
Voices in the Wilderness organized Iraq Peace Team delegations to live alongside ordinary Iraqis during the massive bombardment of Operation Shock and Awe. Convinced that “where you stand determines what you see and how you live,” VitW continues its efforts to educate people in the United States and abroad about the consequences of US militarism. Our current campaign focuses on the need to “spotlight Iraq.” By telling the truth about this war, we hope to help prevent future wars. Further, we seek to connect with and educate ourselves about people who live in other countries threatened by US war.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Constitutionally Guaranteed Gun Rack for Your Bedside

A loaded rifle at the side of your bed, for when you groggily get up in the middle of the night for some water or 'cause your baby is screaming her head off and you just want to shoot something without even thinking of it.


Also, a great phallic reference. But let's not go there...

Vid can be viewed here.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Rush to Judgment

I can see why this guy is big stuff on the religious right's calendar. Why they listen to his unsubstantiated bigoted rants against The Gays, the Intilekts, Women, and that Magic Negro.

This guy loves heterosexual marriage so much that he's doing it again and again. That's three more times than the man we all want to fail, right, Rushie? You're four times as dedicated to straight marriage than that ManChild in Chief, as you like to call him.
In addition - and this is what makes him such a Great AMERICAN - Rush is also a lover of freedom, which is why he doesn't stay with those marriages. Can't keep him cooped up; ya can't keep a good man down.

So I ask, what's wrong with the rest of us? We should be on HIS level!

Why do we hate hetero marriage and freedom so much?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sees, I tolds you we should nevah mixes the species up

Shorter Wesley Prudin, hopefully former editor of the Washington Times:

Obama bows, the nation cringes


It's not Obama's fault that he's a surrender monkey, he's got messed up blood because his mama had jungle fever and anyway Hawaii isn't in the real USof'HEY WE BOW TO NOONE!!1!

Further:
What is up with these crazy rightwingnutjob cats? Can't they even function a complete thought in their hateful heads without showing their complete ignorance and xenophobia?
They complain that Obama is arrogant, but then they complain that he's subservient to others? Which is it?
They complain because Obama bows, but forget Bush II's bowing to the pope and kissing his holy hand. Or kissing the Saudi King's oily lips.
And then they continue with the insanely racist meme of calling him an un-American. Or a child.
Or, in this guy's case, imagining him getting the bend-over treatment in jail - because that's apparently what happens to his fellow Black Americans ("unfortunately").

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A Modest Proposal for All Those Trying to Enter America

It appears that with every problem in these United States that we have, every time a resourceful citizen dreams up a possible and viable solution to a fundamental problem of the peoples (be it health care, economic prosperity, national safety, job retention, or problems in the bedroom with a member of the fairer sex), another road-block is thrown onto the streets. That roadblock is called "illegal immigrants." They apparently are the reason that we cannot afford childcare, welfare, health care, nor, apparently, Bel Aire.

Now, I know the answer that you are thinking to that ultimate question. We should run over those roadblocks and their children. They aren't even supposed to be there anyway. And that is a good answer, four years ago, when we could afford Expeditions and H2's. But this is a new, ecologically-friendly Depression-lite era, and unless you have a chipper in front of your Prius, that thinking just will not do justice for this day. We need a bold and creative plan of action that will once and for all solve the problem of too many immigrants.

Now you will notice that I did not say, "the problem of the immigrants." That wording is too broad. It does not tell you what it is that is wrong with immigrants. For surely not everything about immigrants (nor immigration) is amiss. Most reasonable men (and some of the more reasonable women folk) will agree that at least a small amount of new blood is good for the soil of our country. Who else will work crappy jobs for piss pay? The un-Americans, that's who!

So, we do not need to completely plug the holes, but rather to control the flow of foreigners coming into our land, dating our sisters, and eating our children. I, fortunately for you, dear reader, have thought long and hard for many, many minutes about this thingymabobby.

It has struck me that the path to legal immigration and citizenship is wholly unlike the path that our forefathers took in founding this wonderful nation. George Washington never had to take a test that asked who George Washington is. No, the Washingtons worked the fingers of their slaves to the bones and threw tens of hundreds of thousands of voluntary military men into the range of fire for the right to be called a citizen of the United States of America (or, as it was called in the time, "America: F**k yeah!"). True heroes opened up the borders of what we would define as our God-given rightful land by heart-wrenchingly creating and then breaking peace treaty after peace treaty, raping, declaring war on, and/or enslaving brown-skinned people from

Our new visitors need to demonstrate that they have the same heart that our great forefathers did. It seems to me that very few, if any, of the recent migrants who have darkened our shores (be they via the Pacific, Atlantic, or Rio Grande Oceans) have raped, murdered, mangled or so much given a smallpox-infested blanket to an Indian. Obviously, there aren't enough Indians around for large-scale genocide in these times (Oh, the old glory days...), but that will in fact open up the stakes, for they will understand that they are being hunted down and will go into hiding.

The practicalities would work out as thus: by lottery we will choose, say, 2,000 "undocumented" immigrants for short visa stays per month. Within that month, they are expected to unload, pay their respects to the great centers of our nation (the Statue of Liberty, Liberty Bell, Wasilla, Savannah plantations, etc.) and then commit random acts of genocide on the Indian population.

However, if the foreigner has the ability to import a boat load of free laborers upon his or her arrival, that will also prove his or her character. The new arrival will not need to undergo the month-long process, but will be granted immediate citizenship upon arrival and a recitation of The Pledge of Allegiance (preferably with bombs bursting in air in the background). I mean the new arrival who owns the boat and the laborers, not the laborers themselves. They will each represent 2/3's of a person.

One perceived side-effect for this ultimate solution would be that there will be fewer casinos. Not to worry, since the gaming centers run on reservations may be staffed by Natives, but are not owned by Natives. Although, for nostalgia's sake, I'm sure you will be greeted by a tall, dark and handsome man wearing loincloth and carrying a tomahawk and peace pipe -- just like the Iroquios, Mohawk, or Fighting Illini.

That is, if you are a citizen.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Weekly Links We Like to Link to: Mostly politics and/or dummies edition

The Lonely Life of Rollie Burris: The Cartoon.

Mel Gibson's latest movie is going to be a spectacular mix of a biopic and more of his trademark redemptive violence.



Intriguing article about Newt Gingrich at New York Times Magazine reveals this tidbit from one of his disciples, minority whip Eric Cantor (R, Va.):

Well, generally, [Gingrich] is very quick to see the historic election of President Obama and the potential for his support to last, and what that means for Congress, and how we compare the success of Barack Obama to, frankly, the difficulties that Speaker Pelosi and Leader Reid are having with the American public right now. You know, Congressional Democrats are nowhere near where this president is right now in terms of public opinion.
(On a personal note, I think that's an interesting wedge issue. I may not agree with Newt's ideas, but I think that the Republican party needs to stand up and intelligently challenge the Democrats in power. Otherwise, you face the prospect of a one (weak-arse) party system, as if the Democrats weren't inept enough as it were, they would become inept and fascist.)

And, speaking of the Times and the Republican/Democrat divide, here's an informative article about the sea-change represented in ideals that has come as a result of the new budget. The money passage:

Over the last three decades, the pretax incomes of the wealthiest households have risen far more than they have for other households, while the tax rates for top earners have fallen more than they have for others, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

As a result, the average post-tax income of the top 1 percent of households has jumped by roughly $1 million since 1979, adjusted for inflation, to $1.4 million. Pay for most families has risen only slightly faster than inflation.

Before becoming Mr. Obama’s top economic adviser, Lawrence H. Summers liked to tell a hypothetical story to distill the trend. The increase in inequality, Mr. Summers would say, meant that each family in the bottom 80 percent of the income distribution was effectively sending a $10,000 check, every year, to the top 1 percent of earners.

And here's an argument for spading and neutering dumb, dumb parents.

... And that's the rest of the story.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

You Blag-Head!

Bla-Lego-vich is courtesy of spydrz (via Twitter)

Facebook status updates on our dear (ex-? One can hope) gov.

Jason Ol' Rod, we hardly knew ye good side: http://tinyurl.com/5zxpbk.
omg, he was going to use his appointing leverage to get himself a seat in obama's cabinet - as secretary of health and human services! - or as a high-ranking union official for a union-backed candidate, according to the trib.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-rod-blagojevich-illinois-governor-2,0,4785755.story

he also, according to the suit & trib, sought to have trib editors fired in exchange for state backing of trib sellings - incl. wrigley field.

i mean, of all the things to soil wrigley w/ (as if frats, gawkers, bad baseball, broken promises, and boatloads of cheap, warm beer weren't enough), this just takes the poop-cake!

DN:
Will he be able to appoint a Senator from his jail cell? And will the Senate seat said appointee? It'll be interesting to see what goes down...

i think that that power is just so wrong in the first place. nobody trusted g-rod w/ that appointment in the first place. but i don't think anybody actually thought... jeepers.

as my wife said, here's to hoping mayor daley follows his accomplice du' nincompoopse.

DN:
That's a good one!

Maybe there's something in the water supply in Springfield...

Jason Dye:
here's the kicker: neither daley, obama nor blags are in the least bit 'friends', but they all live in separate neighborhoods in chicago. i think the last gov (ryan) lived in springy.

here's another thing, daley (like his father) wields a LOT of power, but he's got his machine wielded too tightly to get taken down (at least from where i sit. definitely not by anyone in chicago). he's been tied to one fed-exposed scheme conspiracy after another, but he makes reagan look like velcro. he gets away scot-free every time.

obama's shrewd enough to distance himself (for the most part) from any of these feuds / power-plays. mccain tried to make those associations stick but they couldn't.

g-rod, otoh, was just shrewd enough to get himself elected (based on, of course, good ol' illinois nepotism - that he turned his back on!), but built too many enemies to stay politically viable for long w/o sinking. which is prob why he tried so hard to leverage that appointment...

--------

KS's wondering if Rod will get his hair cut....

Jason Dye:
what a set-up, k---. ok, here goes:

Jason Dye:
only if they could exterminate the bees out first.

Jason Dye:
next preferred style for blagosjovic: corn-rows.

after airing the infamous clip of blags from monday where he says, "I have nothing to hide," john stewart says, "except what is on my forehead. my guess is, it says, 'bribe me.'"

in prison, he'll still carry on his political-given nickname, only amended. cell-mates will be heard saying, "that's G-Rod, Bruno's Be-otch."

KS:
You have way too much free time ;)

i wish. i thought of those during my semi-weekly shower.

but, if you so desire, i'll supply more after i cool down from this craaazy week.

----------

CD would like to know what's going on with our Illinios governors, are they not paying you enough ?

JFD:
I didn't know we had more than one governor.
Unless you referring to the multiple personalities of G-Rod.

CD:
no I was referring to our previous governor that was caught selling cdl's

JFD:
ah yes . . .

Jason Dye:
yeah, seriously, though. i wonder how blaggy kept on complaining that he needed more money and how he came to be in such financial constraints that he would ALLOW HIMSELF TO BE TAPED TRYING TO EXTORT BRIBES...

i mean, besides the fact that he's a big dummy.

fwiw, ryan got the bribes while he was secretary of state. tried to cover it up while gov.

CD:
regardless of that fact, I hate that b'cuz you rose to those ranks does not give you the right to be corrupt while us ppl on bottom are starving

CD:
I hope O'bama does something bout corruptness in our gov't I really hold that mainly responsible for the economy
yep, and he rose through the ranks by marrying a powerful state rep's daughter. and then he back-stabbed that whole family as soon as he got in office!

CD:
well thats our govt for you

------------------

AS can't believe the mockery of goverment in IL.

Jason Dye:
hey, so do you think our next guv will bring up our education status so that we're 48th out of 50? or just get arrested?

DW:
I think we should declare his residence in Chicago as the new Governors mansion, and when he is booted out of office - declare eminent domain, and take it :D

Oh, and he is a tool who steals our money
---------

WVK is proud Illinois is living up to its reputation.

CH:
lol!

RU:
Tell me about it

AT:
Yay for Pat Fitzgerald, for exposing all this. The message--that outrageous corruption is not accepted as status quo--actually fills me with hope.

continuing our long, proud tradition of gubernatorial convicts beginning w/ bugsy malone, al capone and johnny cash.

CBP:
wow...who knew?!

(please note intended sarcasm :) )

WT:
This is pretty low. I hope Illinois doesn't have the potential to go any lower....but I have my doubts.

AP:
What a mess!!!

------------

AT is yet again amazed by Patrick Fitzgerald's cojones, and hopes Obama does not replace him.

fitz is THE MAN!

i would not wanna get on his bad side. i wouldn't want him running for office, becoming mayor or gov or even AG. but, for what he's set up to do, he's the best.

---------------

And finally, the first person to comment on this story in my facebookiverse, my wife:

JFD hopes Daley follows G-Rod to his happy place.

PA:
are there puppies and kittens and rainbows and sunshine in the happy place?

MP:
Preach it.

JAS:
Amen

Jason Dye:
jfd,
let's hope so, babes. although i fear daley's too shrewd.

pa,
i hope not. but then again, blago does strike me a as a bit odd...

PA:
i wonder how many more secrets are hiding in his hair...

MR:
i'm very curious what daley and roderick are up to, since i'm not in chicago and haven't seen chicago news for a while.

MP:
MR: What are they up to? They are up to no good. As usual.

MR:
well, yeah ... that's a given. and i love how they've retained their offices (probably through the cemetery vote).

i don't know how/why rod got his 2nd term. but richie's got his machine pulling all the right strings. it'd be a beautiful symphony if they were playing the right tune.


I now understand why people don't regularly blog their facebook status updates. Re-formatting was a not-nice piece-o'-work --- so I didn't even finish.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

More Supreme Court case wackiness (Or: How I was wrong and learned to be wrong again)

The other day I mistakenly assumed that when asked about her knowledge of major cases in the US Supreme Court, Governor Palin was asked about any of which she knew off-hand. That question would make sense, because she should have some sort of authority on what it is that the Supreme Court has done and does do. As next-in-line for chief executive of the whole United States of America, she should be well acqauinted on the roles, responsibilities and histories of the other branches as they are all intricately and powerfully connected. That's how the founding fathers set this government up, at any rate, with checks and balances up and down and accross the lines.

Apparently, Ms. Palin was asked to name another SC case that she disagreed with outside of Roe V. Wade, which may be a bit harder - at least for the typical American citizen. But again, despite what Fred Thompson declares (that she wasn't prepared for that question because she wasn't handled with a list yet), it should not be beyond her grasp. Not if she is seeking for the office that she is seeking.

But since your all-time high-stakes debate is set to happen in a couple hours, allow me to help you out. Governor Palin, if someone asks you what you find abhorrent and wrong, the answer should always be, "Man's inhumanity to man." Or some such approximation. And the further removed and more So, therefore, if you are allowed to go back into history, choose something distant and universally regaled, such as Plessy v. Ferguson which legalized discrimination based on skin color, allowed "separate but equal" status to blacks in the US, and declared that it is not the job of the government to protect the rights of the individuals suffering under discrimination by other individuals (or local bodies of governance) in local areas.

I mean, no less a conservative than Justice William Rehnquist disagreed with this ruling.

No. Wait, haha. I was wrong again.

Friday, November 30, 2007

News of the Weird - 2

This from Chuck Shepherd's section in the Chicago Reader:

A new UK lottery game called "Cool Cash" was canceled earlier this month after less than a week of play because the arithmetic involved proved [to be] too difficult. Participants were required to compare a temperature visible on the game card to a second temperature hidden behind a scratch-off panel; if the second temperature was lower, the card was a winner.


Doesn't sound so hard yet, does it?

But in accordance with the game's winter theme, many of the temperatures were below zero, and officials said they received numerous complaints from players who couldn't understand why, for example, -5 wasn't lower than -6.


To quote directly from a blindsided victim that the Manchester Evening News interviewed:

On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't. I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it. I think Camelot are giving people the wrong impression - the card doesn't say to look for a colder or warmer temperature, it says to look for a higher or lower number. Six is a lower number than 8. Imagine how many people have been misled.

And this is in the United Kingdom? God bless the Queen.