Tuesday, July 18, 2006

And may their first child be a masculine child.

My jaw's so big, I feel like Popeye. I'm talking a bit like him, too.

Just looking in the mirror, I look like Marlon Brando as The Godfather.

I have big, deep, gaping holes in the back of my mouth.

The gauze pads that I kept placing back there were turning a nasty dark red.

I haven't had anything to chew in a day and a half. I've only had half a cup of ice coffee and a little bottle of Starburst Smoothie. It tastes like you'd expect a Starbust Smoothie to taste like. Dang the options at Walgreens.

I'm not hungry, though. Haven't been. And I'm... how should I say this?... a good eater.

I just gurgled some warm salt water. Not as weird as I had expected.

I walked home from the dentist office yesterday alone. They put me under while they removed my wisdom teeth. I was understandably confused when they woke me up and dizzy for a while after. I walked to the pharmacy across the street, but they don't take credit cards. I walked to the bus stop, one came quickly enough. Which was good. I hobbled like a drunkard. But the bus, with its constant starting and stopping, made me nauseus. It's a good thing I only live a third of a mile from the dentist.

If they're called wisdom teeth, shouldn't we keep them in our old age? Wisdom teeth are wasted on the young.

I'm gonna eat a big juicy cheeseburger tonight, or I'll be upset.


  1. I had my wisdom teeth removed at the same time that I had jaw surgery, so I never had the traditional horror story. But I think that I'd prefer that to having my jaw wired shut.

    Liquified White Castles ain't all that great.

  2. micah,

    thanks for blowing up my spot, man.

    "But I think that I'd prefer that to having my jaw wired shut."

    i don't know, kanye made it seem cool.

  3. make sure you get in all the best godfather lines now why you still have the chance.

    --RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

  4. why do you wanna disrespect me? if you had come to me earlier, your enemies would be my enemies.

    yes, of course, rc. much to my friends' chagrin. unfortunately, i only watched the movie once. i had to look up lines on imdb. that's quite handy.


  5. Maaaan suck it up! I had my four wisdom teefers out all at once too. Only took me 3 days to recover. I was even speaking full sentences right after the supposed in-chair surgery. That nitro gas is the GREATEST though isnt it? I was happy that whole night. Like, REALLY. lol. I didn't fall asleep though, just got extremely light headed.

    Don't eat meat! It'll be the worst, trust me.

  6. yeah, it's just a weird sensation. definitely the end-of-the-world i was informed it is. it's like two black holes in the gums in the back of my mouth, instead of just the one big one that i DON'T stick my tongue into.

    the cleaning and refillings come next month. and then a recapping of my two front teeth.

    busy couple months for my mouth. y'know, with the kissin's and all.

    don't eat meat!? NOW you tell me. i keep trying to figure if that's chicken meat back there or my own mouth meat.

    tmi, i know.

    i didn't get the high and happy gas


Be kind. Rewind.