Thursday, July 27, 2006

Woke up, fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head.

You know, as I'm reminded several times a week, teachers get two months off (and the most beautiful ones at that) each year. Now, earlier yesterday, I stumbled upon this entry of Scot McKnight, where the seemingly perpetually busy author, blogger and professor (remember, he teaches at Trinity Evangelical International University) discloses his regular daily summer schedule. It was upon the point of reading his entry that I came upon a unique idea all my own, I should give a glimpse into the life of a typical teacher (me) via a typical daily summer schedule. So, without further ado about nothing:

6:15 a.m.- Awakened on my bed or couch by cell phone alarm.
6:15:30 - Wonder to myself, "Was it all just a dream?"
6:17 - Begin daily conversation with self about the importance of jogging regimen.
6:50 - After vigorus workout of the will, I hit the showers.
7:05 - On a regular rotating schedule, I either clip the ol' toenails, fingernails, nosehairs or earhairs.
7:10 - After all that activity, and to cool down for the day, take a mid-morning siesta.
10:25 - Wake up. Debate with self about DVD rentals: Tsotsi, Vertigo, Tokyo Story, Rashomon.
10:30 - "The View"
11:30 - "Days of Our Lives"
12:30 p.m. - "I Love Lucy"
1:00 - "Lucy Loves Ricky"
1:30 - Go out for healthy lunch.
1:45 - Yell at manager of McDonald's that the Double QuarterPounder w/ Cheese Meal Deal is McMisleadingly McTasty.
2:30 - Begrudgingly finish my third strawberry shake with Reeses Pieces to offset the four Big & Tasty Meals.
2:32 - Begin my jog home.
2:32:10 - Realize I didn't bring the appropriate jogging shoes, effectively ending my jog home.
2:55 - It strikes my funny bone that y'all are still working during this perfect day.
3:00 - "Judge Mathis."
4:00 "- Maury" Marathon.
6:00 - "Inside Edition."
7:12 - Get into a shouting match with a jerk who keeps eyeing me at Coldstone.
7:19 - Find, much to my dismay, that I'm just yelling at mirror image of myself.
7:45 - My belly says 'Yummy.'
8:00 - Think I'm drunk on the Rum Raisin Ice Cream.
8:30 - Pass out on park bench.
9:40 - Read my bible.
9:41 - Pray.
9:42 - Brush my teeth.
9:44 - Prank call my girlfriend.
9:45 - The gig is up. She knows it's me.
9:47 - Prank call my girlfriend.
10:00 - "Fear Factor" while blogging.
11:00 - More "Fear Factor"
12:00 a.m. - Go to Coldstones for more Banana Ripple.
12:10 - Finding that the doors are locked, throw a garbag can through window of Coldstones.
12:35 - Promptly brought to area police ward.
12:38 - Loudly proclaim that my rights are being violated at area police ward.
12:40 - Promptly fall asleep at area police ward.
Repeat cycle.

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Be kind. Rewind.