All Hail Loof S Lipra!

The most ingenious, brilliant and straight-forward thinker/talker/radio-and-tv host of the millennium is back on the air. And just in time to change me from my error-filled and muddled thinking. With clarity and simplicity that can only come from the mind of a true, scrambled genius, the honorable Dr. Loof S. Lipra has shown me exactly what I have been missing all this time.

I was so, dreadfully, sympathetically wrong and just not sociopathic enough to truly liberate society.

In point of fact, Obama hasn't done too much warring - he has done too little! I'm with John McCain and Loof Lipra on this: In order to save the Libyans, we must bomb the mess out of them.

In addition, the all-knowing and rightfully cock-sure Loof:

• taught me that we shouldn't mock the pain of the struggling rich. A measly million dollars just isn't what it used to be and it's hard for a US senator's family these days. They, unlike the working poor, deserve much more - but many have tax rates HIGHER than those lazy thugs making $25,000 are paying! It's as if the structure that the gub'mnt gives them allows the rich to make wealth in the first place!
• shows how America is the nation most blessed by God ever in all of the face of the earth. The proof is in our military might! Just like how God was with ancient Egypt, Assyria, and Rome.
• breached the gap in my brain that could not see how cutting services to the poor helps the poor. Of course, when they run out of options, they'll all stop being so lazy and take all those well-paying jobs just waiting for them.
  
• clarified how rightfully that war is expensive! I've been so frustrated at the tremendous price-tag of our Empire-building - half of our national budget, the murder of civilians, the toll upon our own soldiers in PTSD and moral ambiguities, the destruction of ancient civilizations, to name a few. But then Loof showed me that those concerns are mere eggs. And America is the best omelet ever!

photo © 2009 Michael Dorausch | more info (via: Wylio)

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• step-by-careful-step shown me how important it is for Jesus that America eradicates all them filfy Muslims from the face of the Earth - starting with Israel and the local terririst-bomb detonating house of worship (aka, the mosk). This way, he'll finally be able to come back from hiding in heaven (Jesus is scared of them) and wipe out all the other unbelievers with his magical angry powers.
  
• has also patiently demonstrated how the Cubs are the greatest sports franchise ever and how they'll win it all this year, next year, ad infinitum until Jesus comes and then after that!

photo © 2009 Seth Anderson | more info (via: Wylio)

Have you listened to the almighty words of Loof S Lipra? What has he taught you?