Friday, January 18, 2008

News of the Weird 7 - Clive Owens They Ain't

Arthur Cheney, 64, was pulled over and arrested on Highway 70 near Marysville, California, in December. His Mercedes matched the description of a car linked to a string of 16 bank robberies, and in the vehicle's center console officers found a Post-It note reading "Robbery - 100s and 50s only." Also in December, police said they'd arrested 26-year-old Orlando Taylor as he approached a bank in downtown Brooklyn; a special task force had been assembled to stop him after he'd allegedly robbed the two banks on that block a total of four times in the previous four days.*

One: The man stole from 16 banks before he got caught. In the same car! I'm not quite sure if he's dim or brilliant or just a lucky S. O. B. (But, with a last name like Cheney, you can't go wrong.)

Two: Two banks. One block. Four times. Four days. Is five in five days really all that necessary, Orlando?
And who was this special elite team made up of? I can only imagine a tough, cigar-chomping leader who loves it when a plan comes together. A handsome man who has multiple fake identities and can read phone numbers from the sound of the dialing. A no-nonsense beef of a mechanic with aerophobia and a zany and crazy pilot who comes to the rescue at just the right time. I also imagine that this team shoots randomly toward people, possibly blowing up cars but never hitting any one.


* Chuck Shepherd, "News of the Weird", The Chicago Reader, January 17, 2008

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