And some loose ends to end the decade

Weirdest death:

Sorry, Thriller fans. Michael Jackson is beaten out of this by Anna Nicole Simpson, or whatever her crazy name was.

Great video turned into overkillmurder:

Beyonce's "Single Ladies".

Yeah, I think the tenth guy who tried to dance like her all of a sudden made it ten too many. And that was before Kanye's little indescreption.

Best new program:

"Community". Full of snark and pop-culture references. Yet, more jpm than even "30 Rock from the Sun".

Best long-running tv program:

"The Office." I love that the documentary workers are only just now wrapping up filming after some six years, cuz this crew has been hilarious, unnerving, cringe-worthy and consistently the best large ensemble since "The Simpsons" when it was good (or is it "AD"?)

Worst tv trend:

Reality tv. Voyeurism and expanded victimhood at its worst. Watching highly edited and still boring upper middle class douchebags go on about their "love problems" or poor people piss away their lives by running naked in front of a camera crew is not my idea of entertainment.

Worst president:

Dick "The Ass" Cheney.

Most "Who Gives a F*&$" Moments:

The tabloids at the line. Seriously, am I supposed to care what Brad, Tiger, Tony Stark or anybody else does with their wiggimagidgets? Seriously, they're not real people - well, the parts of them that we know. What gives us a right to think that because they perform that they should have no private life? What kind of a sick contract is that? No wonder MJ was so screwed up.

Best marriage:

Mine. Get your own.

Cutest child:

Who did you think I would say? I'm not gonna lie.

Best single:

"Crazy", of course.

Now, dance, monkey. Dance!!!