War is Hell. Football is Forever*

One of the best places to get sports news is The Onion. It's one of the fresher spots in that periodical nowadays, and actually takes the issue of sports seriously, while still skewering modern American culture and being genuinely funny. Case in point:

U.S. Military Wasting All Its Victories On Notre Dame

"It's important to realize that our young men have been fighting pitched battles against religious fanatics who have been brainwashed into a culture that seeks to destroy all other ways of life," Air Force head coach Troy Calhoun said Monday. "That's just the way Notre Dame football is, the way it's always been. You can't reason with people like that. You destroy them as completely, remorselessly, and quickly as you can."

In other football-related news, the Bears came from behind yesterday to beat the Broncos in overtime. So, with a win over the Giants next weekend, we're still [hardly] in the playoff picture.

And, finally, in my fantasy football leagues (where I merely pretend to do something football-related), I will not, repeat, will not cease to suck. Adrian Peterson, I could've used another miracle.

*Patton. I swear.